In Memory of one of my favorite player, Darrent Williams
From the Denver Broncos website:
Darrent was a meteorite who shone bright Across the Bronco skies,
where even now he resides and will forever in us abide…
Two thousand seven began with the loss of twenty-seven,
drafted this early morning into Heaven…
We suffered and lost and together grew
we’ll always remember that smile, that swagger & your hairdo.
The greatest lesson of all which you taught was sports should bring only joy otherwise it is all for naught… And sorrow, O sorrow, is as real as these tears we cry for the loss of such a life…
I need to go have a confrontation with someone. I need to be real and honest. I need to be loving but firm. I need to be real. I need to be protected.
I need prayer. Please pray for me.
My Prayer for me.
God,
Thanks for caring for me. Thanks for longing to be with me. Cover me. Help me. I can’t do this without you. Daddy, hold my hand today. Stand with me and protect me. Let me hear You and speak what I need to speak. Let the old man not come out. Let the new man shine. Lord, I thank you for the outcome from this time.
(wipes away a tear) A friend of mine is required to serve time in jail during the weekends, 50 days in jail over the next 5 years. The reason he is there is what brought him to Christ. Christ is the reason he is not in jail full time.
He speaks of how for the 48 hours stints he in solitary, God just blesses his socks off. Now that I'm out of my cloud of confusion, I find myself longing to be in put in solitary as well.
The truth, God does not want or need me to do something to place myself in jail; he wants me to dedicate the time to just be alone with Him. My friend is required to be alone, I have the choice. I have the time as I will make for what is important. I have the ability, I just need to take action and do it.
1 Samuel 15:20-22 "But I did obey the LORD," Saul insisted. "I carried out the mission he gave me. I brought back King Agag, but I destroyed everyone else. Then my troops brought in the best of the sheep and cattle and plunder to sacrifice to the LORD your God in Gilgal." But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams.
Daddy, Thank you for wanting to spend time with me. Thank you for you Word which shows us you. Lord, let me be obedient, for it is better than sacrifice. Lord, release the desire in my heart for time alone with you more than the things I think I must get done. I ask you to help me submit my will to Your plan. Help my mind to be in accord with your heart. God, I will not go until you release me to do so. I love you Lord. G
I am tired of complacency, legalism, analytical thinking, isolation, depression, lack of self-worth, destructive behavior, and lack. I'm mad at was has been taken from me. I am mad at being better enough I can now see more clearly. I am mad at being at a heighten state of awareness yet not getting it!! God has more than this for me and even that pisses me off right now. The reason is simple, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." I can not choose death over Life anymore. To think about choose death makes sick to my stomach. I have been in that insanity for far too long.
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and expecting different results.
My circular rut which ensnares me: Complacency leads to Isolation Isolation leads to Depression Depression leads to being Analytical Being Analytical leads to Legalism Legalism leads to Complacency
Thought I would look for an acronym to help remind myself, so being a geek, I Google the different acronym it could make. Boy did I get hit. Google did not take long to find this definition:
-cidal: Suffix indicating killing, as in bactericidal (capable of killing bacteria) and in suicidal (the killing of oneself).
Been there, tried that more than once. I won’t go back, period.
“My mind is a scary place; don’t go there with 5 friends. Definitely do not go in there alone.” KJM
John 19:30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
God, Thanks for Your Son and His death for my benefit. Lord, take all of me. I can't make the change myself, if I could, I would be better my now, so you have to do it. My life is yours. Pour my ways out Lord, and pour You ways in. Thanks Daddy. In accordance with Your Word, I agree. Your spear carrier. G
Humility is right assement. Humility is not making your self a door mat to be walked appone or a figure head to lord over people. Find you right assesment in God's eyes. Humility is knowing the true plan God has for in your life and following Him into the truth of that life.
I am shocked. Shocked at how believers can not see the truth of this world. We are spiritual creatures having a physical experience. Once you know this truth and look at life with the spirit as the reality, your prospective will change and you will see so much more clearly life. The physical represents the spiritual, not the other way round. I already here the comment saying, "Prove it!"
Our spirit lives on after we die as it shows in 1 John 2:17, 1 Thessalonians 4:17, John 6:51. He tells us see the truth of the spiritual being more important in Luke 12:4-5. God truth, his love, endures forever. Psalm 100:5, 1 Chronicles 16:34 God by his nature is truth. To say the spiritual is not first and primary would be a lie of the same caliber of saying God hates gay and lesbian people. (Another blog topic for later)
Hey, I'm not a theologian, I can't even spell it, but our minds can not ever fathom the height, depth, length and width of God's love. Why? They are limited to the physical.
Think you know the word well enough to debate you way into God's glory of heaven. Satan knows the Word well. Satan has had thousands of years to study it knows it backwards and forward. Satan could have accepted God's love, but instead decided to raise himself into the place of God.
If Satan will not be in heaven with all of his knowledge of God, the understanding of ages, and his understanding of how it is base on the spiritual, how then will you be able to get in with your 60, 80, 100, 120 years? Simple, you have the choice to believe in Him, accept Him, and live knowing His truth. You then have committed your spirit to God placing it in His control. John 6:47, Psalm 31:5, Luke 23:46.
I just got the best Father's Day gift!! I get to see my spiritual brother for Father's Day!! I am gitty!! My brother C is in from Kosovo and he will be at our house on Sunday to visit!! Wow, God is so good to bless us.
This week has been such a blessing. I was able to help 2 men in there times of need. I was able to be a rock to my wife and help guide her through a trial which I have gone through in my life. We had a family come to our house and we were able to bless them in a time of need. I did not plan it or seek it out, I just was available. God is just breaking through in my life and using me. He does so because it is not about me, but Him. K likes to call this the "Suit up and show up" principle. I need to be prepared to go at all times. Who knows when he will use me as I go though life. He wants not just to use me but bless me in these things.
As I am typing this I am listening to music. The song is saying, "You are a treasure, worth more than anything under the sun or the moon. God's greatest treasure is the treasure of you." (Song - Treasure of You, Artist - Steven Curtis Chapman, Album - Heaven in the Real World) [sniffles, crying] I love it when He does this kind of stuff.
I can no longer have just enough to make it by in life. I have a choice to deny Him and live in lack, or chose to live in Him and live in abundance. I have a choice best said by these words, "Get busy living or get busy dying." No real a choice there huh. God loves to lavish on us, not just be here. God longs to be father, daddy, abba, pop. He longs to be close to us and pour out on us, in us, and though us with His love.
I had a great teaching in my car driving by myself. Sound strange, just as for God to do it with you and be blessed by the results. Anyway, I was struggling with the idea of "faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13. The supporting Word came in my mind, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matt. 17:20.
I could easily accept hope or faith being the strongest, but love? How could love be stronger? I realized I was debating in my mind way too much. I asked for Him to show me. The answer was so simple; I missed it by making it to complex.
I have also seen so much come from hope. I see and hear the changes in lives of myself and people who were willing to just walk in the door of Celebrate Recovery. (AKA CR, see link on the left panel) We walk in broken from the trials from our journey in life. For many, this is the last stop on their quest to see life get better. We come in with only hope, hope of healing and recovery. We for years have been rejected and condemned by “church goers” for our sin. The burden on us makes church the last place some of us want to go. Hope, however, leads them in and a life is transformed. A person who comes into CR does not stay due to the message, food, fellowship, music, etc. They stay due to the love which is found. Hope leads them in, love show them they have a place to come where everybody is in the healing process. Love over takes the condemnation and rejection placed on us and shows us God’s love.
Faith is what we are taught is powerful. A little mustard seed size moves a mountain into the sea? Look at the tsunami cause by the landslide in 1998 in New Guinea was from the movement of 6 or 7 km of landslide material caused a 30m wave. A mountain is 305 m tall by geographers. A mountain 305 m high with a 305 m base would be roughly 40 km of material. Think of the power of a mountain in a physical sense being plunged into the sea!!! WOW!!! Yet, greater is love than faith. God sent his Son to die and give us salvation as a sign of His love. Without His love, we would all be a lost cause. His love transformed the world though just one man, Jesus. For even a non-Christian can see the impact Jesus make on the world, look no farther than a modern calendar. Casting a mountain into the sea looks pretty small by comparison.
Right now life is about movement. I am working on my steps. I'm specifically working on my 4 and our church prayer focus of 50 days which leads up to Pentecost.
I am so humbled to know how much God cares for me. I have never really allowed Him to love me up close. I could not let him before due to all the lies in my life. Now that those lies are being brought to the surface, I can grow closer to God, give him those things, and repent the sin in my life. Repent is such a "church" word. So many do not understand it means turn away from my wrongs and move on with out them. I am so excited!!! I am seeing strongholds in my life fall away which have kept me from my full relationship with God.
I had a real kairos (the appointed time in the purpose of God) moment the other day. I went through so much of my high school days as an atheist, hating myself, and living of the pain. I have always lied about the reason. Why? Very simple, I could not hate my father for getting clean and sober. He was getting better, but our family was no longer whole. We were no longer the "Brady Bunch." I could not hate him when he was distance, going to meetings, working on his 12 steps to get better, and he was doing it for himself and us. How could I allow myself hate him. So, I started hating the only person I could, I started hating myself. I see now it was a cry for help and to take some on the pressure of my dad. The process happened while I was also being a "normal" teenager, but that is an excuse. The timing did not change the results.
My decision was my own. I can not change my dad, mom, sister, or spouse. I knew the Serenity Prayer's first half from dad's recovery:
God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; and WISDOM to know the difference.
But I did not understand it. I thought someone could fix me. I thought I could help others, but not myself. I had knowledge, but not wisdom. I now know the rest of the prayer from my recovery. A very important part for me to accept was another part of the Serenity Prayer.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it: Trusting that He will make all things Right if I surrender to His Will;
I must go and do what I need to for recovery. I need to not judge those who are "ahead of" or "behind me." There is no race against other people. I can change me, be a light, and interact with a world in need of hope.
I have been excited about starting step 4. Step 4, for those of you who do not know Celebrate Recovery or the 12 steps are:
CR: "openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to another person whom I trust."
12 Step: "We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
I have been going over and over my testimony in the last week. When I am alone driving to work it just starts coming out. I thought I was avoiding my steps. Come to find out, that is what step 4 is all about. The step is all about our testimony. I had to spend a week on my testimony for 2 hours a day so God could show me all the lies I had wrapped around my past. The change has been so cool.
I do not usually post political stuff, but I think the hope part is for us as followers of Jesus to pray for the restoration on hope in Mexico.
PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS POSTING BEFORE YOU DECIDED ABOUT IT.
Why not use our military force to take a large portion of the north portions of Mexico? We will take the area where most of the people who want to come across the border, create another area of resources for our country, and make the area like Guam or Puerto Rico. Then build a big fortification to keep them out at that southern border.
Seem like going to far..... I would agree. Would it be affective.... possibly?
The real solution is providing what people are coming across the border for, hope. We do not have these problems with Canada because they have hope.
"Immigrants" (this includes those who did so legally and illegally) hope for a better life for themselves and their families. They hope to send money home to those they love who can not sustain their life in Mexico. I have talked with "immigrants" about why they are here. Most do not want to leave home, but must to survive or prosper. They send home money to help their loved ones to survive.
You want to know how to solve the problem of illegal in this country? Talk to the people who are coming across the border. They will tell you why they are coming. Once you know why, then you will find the solution to the problem.
My solution:
1. If we need them here to work, they need to do so legally. Make a way for that to happen.
2. Make the people who employ illegal pay more in the fines they pay than the money they save for hiring illegal.
3. Work with Mexico to create what people need in Mexico. Give them a reason to stay in Mexico.
4. Enforce the laws of the border to keep the illegal from happening. One the masses stop going back and forth across the border, this becomes much clearer.
5. Have agencies inside our government share information when illegal activity is seen which can lead to the criminals amongst us. (Example: One Social Security account which receives 500 plus payments in a month is traceable. It would point directly to where they are illegal are working.)
All of this is just common sense.
“Common sense is in short supply, get some and use it.” – Lee Buller
Raw. That is the only way I can describe yesterday. I was just raw. Be working hard at the transition between jobs. I feel just like a circus bear, jumping though hoop or walking on a ball. It was a long day yesterday, a very long day. I got good time with my family and time to relax a little at the end of the day. Just frustrated at things right now.
God,
Thank you for your rest and peace. Thank you for your provision. You are my provider and I love you. Please be with me and help me in all my days to be more of who you created me to be. God, place me in situations of your divine chosing. Thank you for all you have.
Raw. That is the only way I can describe yesterday. I was just raw. Be working hard at the transition between jobs. I feel just like a circus bear, jumping though hoop or walking on a ball. It was a long day yesterday, a very long day. I got good time with my family and time to relax a little at the end of the day. Just frustrated at things right now.
God,
Thank you for your rest and peace. Thank you for your provision. You are my provider and I love you. Please be with me and help me in all my days to be more of who you created me to be. God, place me in situations of your divine chosing. Thank you for all you have.
Lord, Tonight give K the words. Place him in Your sweet spot. Place Your presence around vav in him to protect him. Fill the room with Your presence in the midst of the believers vav non-believers. Put power in Your words You speak though his mouth. Show him to suit up in the armor You made for him vav show up ready for the battle. Blow down the walls tonight Lord, both in his life vav others. Let K open his mouth vav Your truth pour out! God, put Your guardian angels at the doors, let no enemy be able to whisper lies in the ears of those who are there tonight. Give them ears to listen. God, You are El Shaddai, our might God. Pour Your power vav anointing down on the place tonight. Bring down Your power vav truth vav bind the lies of the enemy. Release Your spirit of truth to fill the place where the lies of the enemy have been vacated. In Jesus name, Amen
Our battle continues for the hearts of men to come to Him. This is why we are here on Earth for our short time. The armor of God is specifically designed for this fight. (Read Ephesians 6) Just because a war is won, does not mean the fighting stops, just that we have victory! At the end of a war, the loser will still fight even when they are defeated. That is our enemy, they are defeated but they still fight. The funny thing is we let them not only fight, but let them win these battles. In war, people try to convince each other the victory has been won so the opponent will drop there guard. They become so convinced that the news of victory is just more propaganda, they don't believe it anymore, even when it is true. We have the victory, but we have laid down our weapons and armor to rejoice in the victory on the battlefield. While we rejoice in celebrating, many are being picked off one by one. We are to fight the good fight and finish our race strong. (Read Timothy 6:12, Galatians 5) We are in a battle for the souls of men. Don't give up once you hear of the victory, keep fighting for those who have yet to hear, are still lost, are still struggling, are still in the mists of the fight. We are here for but a short time, but we are to be God’s messengers on Earth. We have victory, but we are still here for a purpose. If we were done here, why would God not just take us up as he had Elijah? We are here to reach out to the lost, not just celebrate our victories.
Father,
Give us Your heart for the lost and hurting. Use our heavenly robes woven from the fibers, purified in your glory, of our filthy rags from our past to be a witness to the lost and hurting. Let them see there is hope, victory, and healing in your presence.
In your Sons name, Jesus,
Amen
God,
I'm tired of the enemy working in my church, home, family, friends, job, driving, property, etc. God, show me your glory and your plan for the battle. God, let me part of your plan for the redemption of your lost. Lord, avenger me against my enemies!!
ENEMY!!!
Take notice, the battle is coming to your land and camp and I'm taking back what you have stolen from me!!!
What is freedom?
Is freedom the right to free speech?
Is freedom the right to bear arms?
Is freedom the right to to worship as I choose?
What is freedom?
Is freedom the right to break the law when I choose?
Is freedom the right to kill myself on achol, cigarettes, presciption medicne, and with the help of doctors and others?
Is freedom the right to press in fear and intimidation my beliefs on others?
What is freedom?
Is freedom the right to a fair trial?
Is freedom the right to be married to whom I choose?
Is freedom the right to fight the system for what I think is right?
What is freedom to you? Comment and let me know. What is you freedom to you and what does it mean to you?
If you are not faithful with what God has given you, he will never give you anymore. For if you can't be trusted with little, how will you be faithful in the large?
God,
Thank you for the job you have given me. I thank you for the option and freedom to change. God, focus me on the quality of what I have, not what I don't have. I ask Lord for you to focus me. Give me your wisdom so I will not fall in sin via the hands of man. Show me you path to my ministry God, not the path I would make it to be. Bless R,C, & K this day. Put your protection around them. Bless you workers at CR tonight. Give them insight and depth. God, move me in to the place where my yes is yse, and my no is no. God, show me if this open door is truly your path.
Amen
Testing. Suplication. Prayer. Fasting.
God,
Once you have me through "the eye of the needle" with my strong men, never let me go back to the old ways.
Thank you in advance Lord,
Amen.
God,
Thank you for the change in my life from despair to joy. Let life and joy overtake the desires in my life which would hurt me.
In you name, Jesus.
Amen
God,
Great are you above, in, and on the earth. Thank you Lord for all you have done. Thank you for health and healing of J and ED's uncle. God, bless them and protect them as they recover. Jesus, watch over them in their healing. Thank you, Lord God, for my health and continued healing. Thank you for my family and their health. You, O God, are the Rock. I ask you to cement my faith in you as you do your work in me.
God, time is my struggle. Time is where the heart is, but my time goes where it should not. Less technology, Lord, more people time. More time with my family and less time worrying about work. I pray for more time in ministry and less time on the internet. God, more time praying for those I care for, less time spent on the past (AKA what could have been).
God,
Give me more time with my wife. Give us the type of relationship we dream of. The relationship will take lots of work, but with your help, all things are possible.
You God are the great provider; give me ears to hear your wisdom. Give me a longing heart for your Word. Place my feet on your path. I ask for Your lamp Lord. Guide and light my next steps. Show me your glory, Lord. Let me not forget to stop and listen to Your still small voice. Place your protection in my life and on my path. Protect my family as well.
Enemy,
You have no place or power in my life. In the name of Christ, be cast away from me. You have no power over my family for Christ is my guard and my fortress.
Lord Jesus,
What the enemy has vacated, I ask you to come fill with your spirit. Set your angels around my house, paths, and the paths of my family.
God,
Watch over K and J as they travel. Guide their paths. Bless them as they receive this weekend. Surround them with you glory that they may radiate you love.
I ask and pray these things in Your names, Jehovah-Jireh (The Provider), Jehovah-Jesus (The Savior), Jehovah-Rapha (The Healer), and Jehovah-Nissi (Our Banner of Victory.
Amen
God,
I pray for ED's uncle who is having open heart right now as well. God, guide the hand of the surgeons as they work. Give them supernatural focus to operate. God, bless them both as they are on the table and protect thier lives.
Lord,
I come against the enemy that would try to attack them and their families as they are having sugery. Enemy, you have no place in these lives. God, wrap them in your love and protection.
In the name of Christ!
Amen
